Lord, Make Me a Titus 2 woman

Titus 2

3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

More and more often my mirror reminds me that I have left the category of the young women and moved into the aged.  And while I know that I am not as old as some, I do believe I have reached the part of my life where it is my responsibility to have an influence on the younger women in the church, at work and in society.

Now, let's be clear here--I have never been and will never be a perfect wife and mother.  But, perhaps some of my bad decisions, missed opportunities and just plain stupid stuff could save someone else from dealing with the consequences of such actions.  You can read these verses and, especially those that know me well, you can see all my failures.  But, the good news is, through God's grace and love and maturing in so many areas, I can see and accept those failures and perhaps offer some advice.
So here are just a few things I want to share with the young wives and mothers.  These early years of marriage and motherhood can be filled with troubles and trials.  There will be days when you will wonder why you ever even considered being a wife and mother.  Every wife/mother has!  It is during the early years that many of the hard times occur.  But those years go by quickly so enjoy them!

"be in behavior as becometh holiness,"
"...to be sober..."

In today's society we tend to think of being sober as not being drunk or not using alcohol but that is actually addressed in verse 2.  The definition I think this is referring to is the one that says "marked by sedate or gravely or earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor or marked by temperance, moderation, or seriousness " (Merriam-Webster)  Giving thought to God's words, following His guidelines, meditating and talking and listening to God. Does this mean walk around with a frown on your face all the time?  Certainly not. Those of you who know me well know that laughter is a big part of who I am.  However, it is not a bad idea to take some time with God before making decisions.  It is good to wait and not jump in with both feet at every opportunity. Just think things through carefully and seek His guidance--especially for those big life decisions----should I marry and if so who should I choose?  Is this the career choice I want to make?  Am I ready to be a parent and how will I deal with the changes that brings into my life?  Just some serious thought for those serious times.

"...to love their husbands..."

This one should be easy, right?  Hmmmm....well, sometimes those rose colored glasses slip and you begin to see some faults in that perfect man! (Don't be surprised if he begins to see some of yours too!!)  So, since he is not everything you wanted him to be, God will understand if you decide not to stay. Right?   I mean, good grief, could God possibly want me to live with this man who not only snores but also leaves his dirty socks on the floor?  The answer to that is "yes".  You made the choice, you made the commitment.  Love is an action.  So even when he is not quite perfect, you still love him.  When he forgets to put gas in the car---you still love him.  When he lets the pets track mud into your clean house---you still love him.  When his hair is thinning and his waist is growing---you love him.  So, part of the job of the older women is to show the younger women that while there will be bad times, you still just love him (you don't have to like his behavior) and you hang in there because years down the road you will really be glad you did.  (As a side note, you will see that the more you love your husband, the more he will love you.  Win/Win!!)

"...to love their children..."

Again, a no-brainer, right?  What mother, especially a God-fearing mother, would not love her children?   But what does that really mean, to love your child?  To make sure they have the best of everything?  To never allow them to fail?  To teach them they are #1 and anyone who disagrees with that just doesn't know much?  Of course, you already know the answers.  What does the Bible tell us about rearing our children?   Proverbs 22:6 says Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  What is the way he should go?  The way of the Lord.  And it does not say to train a child in the right way and they will never make a mistake.  But when your child does make a bad decision, you still love them.  You still claim them as your child.  If God only loved us when we were perfect, would only be our Father as long as we pleased Him, where would that leave you today?  Yeah, me too.  Love your children.  Hug them.  Ruffle their hair.  Let them know that nothing can ever cause them to no longer be your child.  And that loved child, who sees parents love each other, has a better chance of understanding both of those things in their own adulthood.

"...to be discreet, chaste..."

Merriam Webster defines the word discreet as: "having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech:"  "unpretentious, modest."  These are not words we hear much about anymore.  Showing some discernment, making good choices--that is discretion.  Chaste is defined as:  "pure in thought and act".  Clean speech, clean thoughts, clean acts--wow, this is getting pretty tough isn't it?  What happens when you allow your mind to go places it shouldn't go?  That is right, it goes there easier next time.  I despise profanity (y'all know my opinion) but I hate it even worse in a female.  We are the nurturers.  If you present yourself as a Christ follower and the younger women hear you using expletives and coarse language, what kind of example are you setting?  Be discreet.  Be chaste.  "...whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God,"  Don't be getting all offended here...God is all up on my toes too!

"...keepers at home..."

In his commentary, John Gill says this means "minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad; and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people's matters. This is said in opposition to what women are prone unto. "  Isn't that funny?  God already knew we women were going to be prone to gossip and being busybodies!!!  But each woman is to be concerned with her own home.  If you are truly loving your husband and children, do you really have much time to be concerned with what is going on in some other woman's house?  No, you don't.  It is our responsibility to look after our own families.  I guess it was nice way of saying to just mind our own business!!

"...good, obedient to their own husbands..."

OK, here we go.  This is the one you've been waiting for, isn't it?  Didn't you really just expect me to skip it?  Well, I'm not.  But I do know why God's plan was for the AGED women to do this part.  Just hang in here for a minute, ok?  When we were planning our wedding, my precious uncle who was preforming the ceremony gave me several books with vows and readings that could be used.  I remember telling him that I would NOT say obey!!  Don't even try.  So we inserted the word "encourage" in its place. Unfortunately,  I have even failed at that quite often in 35 years!  Back to that word OBEY,  God did not say be a doormat.  He did not say obey every man, He only said a woman had to be obedient to her OWN husband.  So, yeah, there are some times when you can tell a fella--You are not the boss of me!!  Now, take a few minutes and walk through this with me.  Love your husband, love your children, tend to your home.  If you are doing these things, is it really that hard to let your husband be the leader in the family?
All the remodeling we have been doing has given me ample opportunities to work on this.  Some things I knew exactly how I wanted and the hubby was fine with that.  Some things I had an idea of what I wanted but couldn't quite put it into words.  So, quite often, while we were discussing something my response would be "what do you think?"  And then he would just go with it.  There were times when he would tell me to come hold this or that, or would I rather have it look like this or that, but mostly I just stood in awe of how he was making my dream come true.  Just by not arguing or stomping my foot and saying it had to be my way!!  And even though we are not finished, the biggest part is done.  And every day I walk in there and say "This is exactly how I wanted this to look!"  I couldn't have done this project alone.  I couldn't have told a stranger what I wanted.  But, when I let this man who knows me better than anyone, make decisions, be the leader, I got exactly what I wanted.  Amazing, isn't it?

"...that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Cambridge Dictionary defines blasphemy as "to use offensive words or make statements that show no respect for God or religion."  Whoa!  You mean if we don't do those things above it is considered blasphemy?  That is what the end of verse 5 says.  But we would never purposely do something that would be blasphemous!  Probably not, but have we been NOT doing some things that are?  Again, this is why the AGED women are to be the teachers of this--because in our youthful ignorance or selfishness or hard-headedness, we are not very open to these scriptures.  In our youth we want to do what we want, however we want, when we want, period.  It is only as we mature spiritually that we begin to realize that we were doing things all wrong.  I do not want to be held accountable for blasphemy and I don't think that you do either.  So here I, as an AGED woman, want to provide some help for the younger women.

I hope you take the time to really examine this scripture and hold yourself to these standards.  I will continue to work on myself as well.  Sore toes will be worth the joy that comes from what God had planned all along.