Mother, are you there?

For as far back as I can remember I have been afraid of the dark.  Even now I don't like it.  But I also remember that as long as I knew my mother was there, waiting for me, watching out for me that I could let the fear go.  That's what mommas do for us on this earth.  They love us unconditionally, teach us, guide us, and keep us safe.  Momma has never been a big woman, but I saw her as one of the strongest women I've ever known and I knew I was safe in her care.

But in the past year, I've watched my momma slip away.  She doesn't talk to me anymore.  Every day I go by and carry on a conversation with myself and just pretend she is answering.  This is a new kind of dark and it frightens me immensely.

I noticed several weeks ago that the sparkle was gone from Momma's eyes.  She just wasn't as alert as she had been.   So many days while I'm feeding her an afternoon snack, I lean over her, look her in the eyes and ask, "Momma, are you there?"  But she doesn't answer. In my heart I have to believe that she still knows everything even if she can't communicate it. I know the day will come when I won't be able to go into her room to see her so I'm thankful that she is still here... at least physically.

I know many adult daughters and sons who have done or are doing exactly what I am doing now.  And I think for the majority of us we do what we do because we believe that is what we should do....especially those who had good relationship with our parents growing up. 

We know we are told in Ephesians 6:2 "Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise."  So that pretty much explains why children become the caregivers of their parents---its just what we are supposed to do.

Even though she doesn't answer when I ask "Mother, are you there?" I feel peace in my heart because I know I'm with her whether she knows it or not.

Proverbs 23

King James Version (KJV)

22...despise not thy mother when she is old.
25...thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.