Sometimes we are not to understand...

This has been a very sad week for so many people--some I know personally and some I only know through the news.  Too many young children and teenagers leaving this world so suddenly and, as far as I can see, for no reason.  Older people who have made their way on to Glory.  Loved ones of my friends who are suffering pain and hurt.  For some,  all the family can do is wait...and trust God.  Too many things that I just cannot comprehend; too many things I just don't understand; so many questions in hearts and minds of so many people.

But...here is the good news.  I don't have to understand.  You don't have to understand.  Nobody has to understand.  Because God knows.  He has His reasons and while we may never know this side of Heaven, we can still believe.  And trust. 

So during those times when we aren't sure about what to do, we always know where we can go.  To our Rock.  To our Saviour.  And how will He keep us?  In perfect peace.  Just trust and let God do the rest.

"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee."  Isaiah 26:3

Mother, are you there?

For as far back as I can remember I have been afraid of the dark.  Even now I don't like it.  But I also remember that as long as I knew my mother was there, waiting for me, watching out for me that I could let the fear go.  That's what mommas do for us on this earth.  They love us unconditionally, teach us, guide us, and keep us safe.  Momma has never been a big woman, but I saw her as one of the strongest women I've ever known and I knew I was safe in her care.

But in the past year, I've watched my momma slip away.  She doesn't talk to me anymore.  Every day I go by and carry on a conversation with myself and just pretend she is answering.  This is a new kind of dark and it frightens me immensely.

I noticed several weeks ago that the sparkle was gone from Momma's eyes.  She just wasn't as alert as she had been.   So many days while I'm feeding her an afternoon snack, I lean over her, look her in the eyes and ask, "Momma, are you there?"  But she doesn't answer. In my heart I have to believe that she still knows everything even if she can't communicate it. I know the day will come when I won't be able to go into her room to see her so I'm thankful that she is still here... at least physically.

I know many adult daughters and sons who have done or are doing exactly what I am doing now.  And I think for the majority of us we do what we do because we believe that is what we should do....especially those who had good relationship with our parents growing up. 

We know we are told in Ephesians 6:2 "Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise."  So that pretty much explains why children become the caregivers of their parents---its just what we are supposed to do.

Even though she doesn't answer when I ask "Mother, are you there?" I feel peace in my heart because I know I'm with her whether she knows it or not.

Proverbs 23

King James Version (KJV)

22...despise not thy mother when she is old.
25...thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.

Make the call

I had just finished my last lecture and returned to my office.  Just as soon as I plopped down in my chair, the phone began to ring.  I answered it thinking it was probably somebody wanting me to do something.  But when I heard the voice on the other end of the line, a smile immediately lit up my face and my heart grew lighter.  The caller was someone who has had a huge impact in my life over the past 20+ years.  And the purpose of the call?  "I was just thinking about you and thought I'd call to see how things are with you."  That was it.  Just one of those "how are you?" calls that had no significance in the big scheme of life.  At least that is probably what you are thinking.  But it was a big deal.  Somebody that I care about took the time to let me know they cared about me too...and that was significant to me.

So afterwards I began to think...why don't I do that for others?  Why don't I just randomly pick up the phone and call someone who is important to me just to say "hi"?  Because I'm too busy?  Well...probably not.  More than likely its just because I don't take the time to do it.  But if that phone call did so much for me I could probably do the same for somebody else.  So, what about you?  Is there someone who might have their spirits lifted just to hear your voice?  Just to know that you care enough to take 5 minutes out of your day and give it to them?  Pretty small thing?  Maybe and maybe not.  I'm about to make a call.  How about you?

"...edify one another, even as also ye do"  1 Thessalonians 5:11

You are loved!

Oh well, it is Valentine's day again.  The time to celebrate love.  Hmmmm...but what if you are single?  Maybe you are single by choice and maybe not but it is disheartening to see all these people celebrating their love for each other.  And there you are.  Alone.  All alone.  So sad. Until...

You realize that you are NOT all alone.  You are loved with the greatest of all loves!  In Jeremiah 31:3 God says "... I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."   If you have ever heard a recording by Elisabeth Elliot, you have heard her say "You are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms."  There  it is again.  That word-everlasting.  An everlasting love.  Everlasting.  How awesome is that?!

What comfort, what peace, what hope we draw from this.  Relationships end, marriages end, sometimes children desert their parents.  But no matter what else happens in our lives, we know that God loves us.  Forever.  I count on that promise.  I find joy in knowing that I am loved with an everlasting love.  And so are YOU!  He loves you with a perfect love that far exceeds anything we could imagine experiencing on this earth. 

So, if you are feeling a little down, a little lonely as this Valentine's day comes around, remind yourself Who you belong to and how much He loves you.  And that is better than anything else this world could possibly offer you!

Life is Short

I was reading an article the other day on the the top 5 regrets of dying people.  I was not surprised in the least to find that no one said they wish they had worked longer hours (they did say that they hadn't worked so hard), spent less time with family or made less money.  But I was still a little surprised by a couple of the things that made the list.  Number one on the list was "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."  That one hit home with me.  Why do we feel that our entire lives must be lived to meet someone else's expectations?  First our parents, then maybe teachers or our spouse or children.  Why not just do what we want to do?  I know the reasons we give--"I have to make a living."  "Nobody would understand."  "I just don't think I can."  But I think the real reason is that we are afraid.  I know several things I wish I'd done already in my life and didn't--because I was afraid to take the risk.  There are things now that I want to do--but I'm afraid to take the risk.  What if nobody else approves?  Does it really matter?  If the life we want to live is not illegal or immoral, why don't we go for it?

The last thing on the list was "I wish that I had let myself be happier."  I think the two go hand in hand.  Women especially feel they are to be martyrs.  You know, do everything for everybody regardless of what we want.  Why is that?  Just go and be and do.  Life is short and we have no promise of tomorrow.  Let's take a chance at being happy...what do you say???

Marriage Issues

I'm so saddened by the fact that so many people that I know have hit a rough patch in their marriage.  And, yes, I know that all marriages have ups and downs in them.  It is the willingness to WORK together that determines how the issues will be resolved.

The number one reason couples go to counseling is lack of communication.  Communicating involves more that stating facts or, as sometimes is the case, yelling them.  To fully communicate with another person requires several things.  The first is to pay attention.  Often when one person is talking, the other is busy doing something else.  Multi-tasking is not a part of communicating.  The second thing is to listen.  Hearing is not the same as listening.  Listening involves your ears, brain, and heart.  It means that you are not only grasping the words but also the meanings behind those words.  Sometimes, it is more important to listen with the heart because it picks up on things that your brain may not.  Couples must also strive to stay calm.  If the discussion escalates to a shouting match, then the listening has stopped.  If there is a time when the subject is just too hot to handle right then, take a break and agree to a time--after colling down--to restart the discussion.  Probably one of the main aspects of communication is to stay in the moment.   Don't bring up things from last week or last month or last year.  Deal with the issue at hand.

This is a good start for couples when difficulties arise.  However, each must realize that the partner may have needs that are not being met--not just physical needs but the need to be touched or praised or appreciated.  Each person has his/her own temperament style and he/she can't dictate what that style is.  So it is important to learn about your spouse and what feels like a reward for him/her.  Life might be easier is marriage was always smooth but the reality is that without working to keep things together, it is very easy for a couple to fall apart.

Mark 10: 7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (KJV)