I was sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair watching the most important man in my life on a John Deere. I was thinking how I'd really like to go to Bloodworth's store and get some fresh sliced ham and some hoop cheese to make a sandwich. A real Coca-Cola in a glass bottle would just top top it off. I knew when I finished eating that meal that there would be something really good for dessert made with loving hands. Yep, that sounded like a plan. I could hop on my bike and ride those few miles or maybe I could get a ride in the car.
Then I heard Adele playing on Pandora on my cell phone. Back to reality. I was sitting on the porch in the rocker but it was my husband on the stick steer mower and not my Daddy on the tractor that I was watching. The sandwich still sounded like a good idea but I wasn't sure how late the store stayed open on Saturday. And there would be something good for dessert but it would be my hands that made it--but it would still be filled with love.
It is odd how sometimes the smallest things bring back so many memories. I remembered the many times I spread a quilt under the walnut tree in the front yard and stretched out to read a book. I thought about the times with my Grandma Mitchell watching her dry sliced apples on the tin roof of the old building in the back yard. I laughed thinking about the chickens and how I hated the rooster because he always tried to peck my ankles. Of course, I liked to watch Grandma catch a hen and wring her neck! Fried chicken was on the way! In my mind I could hear Momma's voice calling from the back door to come on in. Good memories. Good times.
I miss a lot of things about those days--a lot has certainly changed.. Daddy and Grandma have reached their eternal Home and Momma doesn't say anything any more. I long quite often for time to just be still and read a book--no worries, no rush. I miss so much from my childhood days.
A lot of things I don't miss though. I never really liked dried apples in my fried pies so I'm glad now to just make them with applesauce. And when Momma called me to come in I was probably helping Daddy do some kind of work. (I'm sure I was never as much "help" as I thought I was!) And I really do prefer buying my chicken with no bones or skin--and especially no feathers. :)
So I waited for the lawnmower to be loaded on the trailer. I left the porch and got ready to head back to our house. But I carried with me a sense of peace and comfort that I rarely feel as an adult. And for a little while that was enough.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
The Day We Said "I Do"
At 2:30 in the afternoon on June 5, 1982 I made the most important commitment of my life. That was the day I vowed to love, honor, and encourage (Come on! You knew I was not going to say "obey"!) one man for as long as we both shall live. I made this vow in the house of God with those we love best watching. My Uncle Henry performed the ceremony and I knew once we slipped those rings on our fingers and sealed it with a kiss that this was a forever commitment.
Here we are 30 years later. 30 years!! We were so young and not nearly as smart as we thought we were. :) But that sacred covenant between the two of us with God is what has held us together through these past 30 years. I would be lying if I said that every minute of every day of every year was perfect and stress free and romantic. During those years we have raised 2 baby boys to manhood. We have buried grandparents and parents; grown dogs and new puppies. We have spent hours working, watching athletics, and serving God. And some of that time fighting--or really I yelled and screamed and he just sat there quietly or walked away. (Nothing is quite as aggravating as wanting a good argument and getting no response! lol) But it was ok for us to go through those rough times. It just cemented the commitment we had made. We could disagree all we wanted but neither of us could leave. Oh, one of us might take a ride somewhere but we always ended up right back here--together--and made up and learned things and moved on.
I am certainly not the same person today as I was then and neither is he. But that is the way it is supposed to be. You grow; you mature; you learn; you change. But through it all I knew that we would always have each other. (Of course, my Dad said I was non-returnable so I guess that may have helped some! ha ha) If I had known everything I know right now, would I have done some things differently? Probably. Would I want to change everything? No way. Maybe we don't live in the house I'd dreamed of but it is a house filled with love and laughter and good food. I still don't have my '65 Corvette convertible but I've never been without a way to go. No picket fence, no perfect life but more important things. In those times when I didn't think I could cope, I had the love and strong arms of the man who promised to be there--always. I knew where my husband was, who he was with and what he was doing for the past 30 years. I never feared that he would be out till all hours of the night. And I knew that come Sunday morning we would be in church--as a family. What a wonderful thing.
We made it through some tough times and some times when we were discouraged. But the fact that we stood our ground and stuck it out has gotten us to this time of our lives. We still work and have lots of responsibilities in our lives. But we still love one another and, maybe more importantly, we still LIKE one another. I'd rather spend time with my husband than anybody else I know. We are more likely to be listening to the Booth Brothers or the Talleys than Meatloaf or Journey but we are still known to listen to a little James Taylor. And the real Saturday Night Live still cracks us up!
The point to all of this is this: even though this has not been a perfect ride, it has been worthwhile. I am so thankful for a Godly husband who loves me more than anyone else on this earth. A husband who opens my doors, holds my hand and keeps me laughing. The husband of my youth that is still the husband of my middle age and, if God allows, will be the husband of my late adulthood.
Happy Anniversary, Babe. I love you more today than 30 years ago!
Here we are 30 years later. 30 years!! We were so young and not nearly as smart as we thought we were. :) But that sacred covenant between the two of us with God is what has held us together through these past 30 years. I would be lying if I said that every minute of every day of every year was perfect and stress free and romantic. During those years we have raised 2 baby boys to manhood. We have buried grandparents and parents; grown dogs and new puppies. We have spent hours working, watching athletics, and serving God. And some of that time fighting--or really I yelled and screamed and he just sat there quietly or walked away. (Nothing is quite as aggravating as wanting a good argument and getting no response! lol) But it was ok for us to go through those rough times. It just cemented the commitment we had made. We could disagree all we wanted but neither of us could leave. Oh, one of us might take a ride somewhere but we always ended up right back here--together--and made up and learned things and moved on.
I am certainly not the same person today as I was then and neither is he. But that is the way it is supposed to be. You grow; you mature; you learn; you change. But through it all I knew that we would always have each other. (Of course, my Dad said I was non-returnable so I guess that may have helped some! ha ha) If I had known everything I know right now, would I have done some things differently? Probably. Would I want to change everything? No way. Maybe we don't live in the house I'd dreamed of but it is a house filled with love and laughter and good food. I still don't have my '65 Corvette convertible but I've never been without a way to go. No picket fence, no perfect life but more important things. In those times when I didn't think I could cope, I had the love and strong arms of the man who promised to be there--always. I knew where my husband was, who he was with and what he was doing for the past 30 years. I never feared that he would be out till all hours of the night. And I knew that come Sunday morning we would be in church--as a family. What a wonderful thing.
We made it through some tough times and some times when we were discouraged. But the fact that we stood our ground and stuck it out has gotten us to this time of our lives. We still work and have lots of responsibilities in our lives. But we still love one another and, maybe more importantly, we still LIKE one another. I'd rather spend time with my husband than anybody else I know. We are more likely to be listening to the Booth Brothers or the Talleys than Meatloaf or Journey but we are still known to listen to a little James Taylor. And the real Saturday Night Live still cracks us up!
The point to all of this is this: even though this has not been a perfect ride, it has been worthwhile. I am so thankful for a Godly husband who loves me more than anyone else on this earth. A husband who opens my doors, holds my hand and keeps me laughing. The husband of my youth that is still the husband of my middle age and, if God allows, will be the husband of my late adulthood.
Happy Anniversary, Babe. I love you more today than 30 years ago!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
What God has joined together...
I know even as I start to write this that it will not be well received by some of my closest friends and family. But that's ok. It won't be the first time I said something they didn't like. :-) But they love me anyway!
Yesterday I attended a beautiful wedding ceremony for two very special people. I go to a lot of weddings and I don't always feel like the bride and groom have really thought about what they were doing, what they were promising. (I didn't feel that way about yesterday's couple, however!) As I was listening to the words of the ceremony I was again reminded of the seriousness of the vows we take when we marry. In Matthew 19:6 God's word says: "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." One flesh--no longer 2 people where each is only interested in his/her own happiness but one--one flesh working together to serve God. And I think most couples are thinking to themselves,"yeah, that's ok, we can become one." But it is the next part that people often overlook--the part about what God has joined man is not to put asunder. Here is the definition of asunder:
So when we take a marriage that is whole (one) and make it asunder (broken) then we have gone against the very Word of God. That is pretty serious business.
Then we get to the part of the ceremony where the couple exchanges vows and rings. In the traditional marriage vows the bride and groom each make some solemn promises and ends these vows with these words: from this day forward until death do us part. The ring ceremony explains that the wedding band is a circle--never-ending. Sometimes you hear the preacher say "from this day until eternity." That is forever.
Now, here is the part where I'm going to catch it...
We have gotten so accustomed to the idea of divorce that many couples do not give it a second thought. And I know I'm old and I know I don't think like most people BUT I grew up being taught that marriage was a one-shot deal. Even to the point that if you did have just cause to get a divorce (because one was being abused, for example) that you remained alone from that point on. Some of you know what I"m talking about--that as long as the person you married is living you are not free to marry another. I know, I know, I'm jumping into some pretty deep waters here. But it concerns me to see not only young people but middle-aged and older adults who just jump from marriage to marriage because they were bored or unhappy or unfulfilled. So since you don't want to spend your life in prison you can't murder them, so you just have to work to keep it together.
This is probably one of the biggest decisions that a person ever makes in their entire lifetime. Because it is a decision that will impact you for a lifetime. That is why I just wanted to remind those who have never married that if you make that decision you need to be sure you have looked at all the aspects of spending the rest of your life with one other person. You need to be mature enough to make such a life-altering decision.
I won't tell you that if you truly make this commitment that your marriage will be trouble-free because then I would be telling a lie. It will be hard. I was talking to someone the other day who said "I'm not married but I know that marriage is hard work." That is a very true statement. So in this time of year where weddings are rampant, take the time to really consider what you are doing.
Please take this with all the love and caring with which it is written, (And it is certainly not a judgment piece because there is not enough space in any blog to list all of MY own faults and failures.) It is just an example of an "aged woman" (that is me) teaching the younger women. May God bless you each today and always!!
Yesterday I attended a beautiful wedding ceremony for two very special people. I go to a lot of weddings and I don't always feel like the bride and groom have really thought about what they were doing, what they were promising. (I didn't feel that way about yesterday's couple, however!) As I was listening to the words of the ceremony I was again reminded of the seriousness of the vows we take when we marry. In Matthew 19:6 God's word says: "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." One flesh--no longer 2 people where each is only interested in his/her own happiness but one--one flesh working together to serve God. And I think most couples are thinking to themselves,"yeah, that's ok, we can become one." But it is the next part that people often overlook--the part about what God has joined man is not to put asunder. Here is the definition of asunder:
1. Into separate parts or pieces: broken asunder.
2. Apart from each other either in position or in direction.So when we take a marriage that is whole (one) and make it asunder (broken) then we have gone against the very Word of God. That is pretty serious business.
Then we get to the part of the ceremony where the couple exchanges vows and rings. In the traditional marriage vows the bride and groom each make some solemn promises and ends these vows with these words: from this day forward until death do us part. The ring ceremony explains that the wedding band is a circle--never-ending. Sometimes you hear the preacher say "from this day until eternity." That is forever.
Now, here is the part where I'm going to catch it...
We have gotten so accustomed to the idea of divorce that many couples do not give it a second thought. And I know I'm old and I know I don't think like most people BUT I grew up being taught that marriage was a one-shot deal. Even to the point that if you did have just cause to get a divorce (because one was being abused, for example) that you remained alone from that point on. Some of you know what I"m talking about--that as long as the person you married is living you are not free to marry another. I know, I know, I'm jumping into some pretty deep waters here. But it concerns me to see not only young people but middle-aged and older adults who just jump from marriage to marriage because they were bored or unhappy or unfulfilled. So since you don't want to spend your life in prison you can't murder them, so you just have to work to keep it together.
This is probably one of the biggest decisions that a person ever makes in their entire lifetime. Because it is a decision that will impact you for a lifetime. That is why I just wanted to remind those who have never married that if you make that decision you need to be sure you have looked at all the aspects of spending the rest of your life with one other person. You need to be mature enough to make such a life-altering decision.
I won't tell you that if you truly make this commitment that your marriage will be trouble-free because then I would be telling a lie. It will be hard. I was talking to someone the other day who said "I'm not married but I know that marriage is hard work." That is a very true statement. So in this time of year where weddings are rampant, take the time to really consider what you are doing.
Please take this with all the love and caring with which it is written, (And it is certainly not a judgment piece because there is not enough space in any blog to list all of MY own faults and failures.) It is just an example of an "aged woman" (that is me) teaching the younger women. May God bless you each today and always!!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Decisions
How are you at making decisions? Do you feel you do a good job? Do you often make the decision NOT to decide? :) I think that is the way it is with many of us. Ask anybody older than 4 if they have made any bad decisions and their answer will most likely be "Yes". So if we make so many bad decisions, why don't we learn to be better decision makers?
I don't like to make decisions if it involves the lives of others and sometimes I don't even like to make decisions for myself. But not a day goes by that we aren't required to make a multitude of decisions. Some are less important such as "what should I wear today?" and "what should we have for supper?". Some are more important though: such as "what should be my career choice?", "should I get married?", or "should I have children?" And in making the really important decisions, I think we sometimes act too quickly. We sometimes don't even ponder on the situation we just come to a conclusion and follow it. Have you ever done that? I imagine you join me in having to say--Sure did! My kids and my students know that I won't let them use the word "mistake" very often. Because most things we label as mistakes were really bad decisions. I could write for hours talking about some of those in my life. If you misspell a word--that is a mistake. But those big life altering things that went awry--just bad decisions. Sounds harsh, I know. But when you really think about it honestly, isn't that the truth?
So is there a way we can avoid making even more bad decisions? Yes. Is it something difficult to do? No. It is really very simple. When the time arises to make those really big decisions there are just a few steps to take. Read your Bible for God's instructions, pray and give Him time to answer, and measure everything against what He has told you to do. See how simple that is? Yeah, I know------easier said than done!! I just keep thinking of so many things I would have done differently if I had just followed the steps. (Probably not those things I listed earlier--I have a great job, I am still pretty satisfied with my marriage partner ;), and I wouldn't trade my two knot-headed boys for anything.) But there are other things I would have done differently. And yes, I know that everything I've gone through to this point has made me who I am today. And no, I will not live my life in the past filled with regrets. BUT--I wish, I WISH I had done some things much differently.
The good news is that I can follow these steps in all of the decisions that await me as time goes by. But more than that, I hope that someone else--whether younger or older--will read these words and consider them when they are making decisions down the road. Read. Pray. Wait. Measure. That should become such a part of us that we don't even have to think about it.
:)
Proverbs 3:5-6
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I don't like to make decisions if it involves the lives of others and sometimes I don't even like to make decisions for myself. But not a day goes by that we aren't required to make a multitude of decisions. Some are less important such as "what should I wear today?" and "what should we have for supper?". Some are more important though: such as "what should be my career choice?", "should I get married?", or "should I have children?" And in making the really important decisions, I think we sometimes act too quickly. We sometimes don't even ponder on the situation we just come to a conclusion and follow it. Have you ever done that? I imagine you join me in having to say--Sure did! My kids and my students know that I won't let them use the word "mistake" very often. Because most things we label as mistakes were really bad decisions. I could write for hours talking about some of those in my life. If you misspell a word--that is a mistake. But those big life altering things that went awry--just bad decisions. Sounds harsh, I know. But when you really think about it honestly, isn't that the truth?
So is there a way we can avoid making even more bad decisions? Yes. Is it something difficult to do? No. It is really very simple. When the time arises to make those really big decisions there are just a few steps to take. Read your Bible for God's instructions, pray and give Him time to answer, and measure everything against what He has told you to do. See how simple that is? Yeah, I know------easier said than done!! I just keep thinking of so many things I would have done differently if I had just followed the steps. (Probably not those things I listed earlier--I have a great job, I am still pretty satisfied with my marriage partner ;), and I wouldn't trade my two knot-headed boys for anything.) But there are other things I would have done differently. And yes, I know that everything I've gone through to this point has made me who I am today. And no, I will not live my life in the past filled with regrets. BUT--I wish, I WISH I had done some things much differently.
The good news is that I can follow these steps in all of the decisions that await me as time goes by. But more than that, I hope that someone else--whether younger or older--will read these words and consider them when they are making decisions down the road. Read. Pray. Wait. Measure. That should become such a part of us that we don't even have to think about it.
:)
Proverbs 3:5-6
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Monday, April 2, 2012
God, It's me again
Many years ago Judy Blume wrote a book called Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret which tells the story of a 6th grade girl seeking a way to consolidate her mother's Christian beliefs and her father's Jewish beliefs. She stops talking to God at one point because she is angry at Him for putting her in such a spot. As things continue Judy begins to ask about things that only a 6th grade girl would want to know. But just before the book ends, she asks. "Are you STILL there, God"?
Sometimes I feel like Margaret. I just need reassurance that He is still there and He is still watching over me. No, I don't have the dilemma that Margaret had over her parent's religious beliefs, but sometimes I wonder what God is up to. What is His purpose in some of the things we are given to handle? Why am I going through this thing or that thing and why do those I love go through those things too? So while I know He is still there, sometimes I just need a little reassurance.
I was wondering how He would give me His answer. Then a friend told me to whatch the weather for storms, I walked outside and watched the limbs of the trees being whipped into different directions. The flag on the flagpole stood out so straight and stiff that it looked like it had been heavily starched. The sky was a multitude of shades--blue, black, gray. I watched the dust fly across the street. And then I had my answer. Yes, God is still there. He is still creator of all things. He does still hold the world in His hands.
So, I changed my question to a statement. " God, it's me, Myra. Thanks for reminding me of your awesomeness in such a spectacular way. Thanks for ALWAYS being there. Just--Thanks."
"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18
Sometimes I feel like Margaret. I just need reassurance that He is still there and He is still watching over me. No, I don't have the dilemma that Margaret had over her parent's religious beliefs, but sometimes I wonder what God is up to. What is His purpose in some of the things we are given to handle? Why am I going through this thing or that thing and why do those I love go through those things too? So while I know He is still there, sometimes I just need a little reassurance.
I was wondering how He would give me His answer. Then a friend told me to whatch the weather for storms, I walked outside and watched the limbs of the trees being whipped into different directions. The flag on the flagpole stood out so straight and stiff that it looked like it had been heavily starched. The sky was a multitude of shades--blue, black, gray. I watched the dust fly across the street. And then I had my answer. Yes, God is still there. He is still creator of all things. He does still hold the world in His hands.
So, I changed my question to a statement. " God, it's me, Myra. Thanks for reminding me of your awesomeness in such a spectacular way. Thanks for ALWAYS being there. Just--Thanks."
"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18
Friday, March 23, 2012
Some rambling thoughts...
My mind has been running in so many directions in the past few weeks and I have been feeling so many different emotions that I really could not find exactly what I wanted to say. I had another birthday which always makes me think about my Daddy. And for the very first time, my Momma couldn't say "happy birthday" but I know she knew she would have if she could. But my gang made it a good day for me and I actually made it through with no tears. :) Everybody is so busy I think we all feel like we are running in a hundred different directions. The fluctuations in the weather--bouncing between sun and rain has us all a little out of sorts, I think. So I'll start rambling and hopefully I'll find a place to land. :)
Over the past few years many things have changed in my life. Not only mine but the lives of so many people that are special to me. Marriages have ended, children have moved, people have died and others have simply lost touch with one another. And we know that the natural progession of life leads to these changes. So, what DOES stay the same? We know the answer to that. God does. He never changes, He never waivers, He never leaves us. We may pull back or even walk away but He is always right there. Waiting. Waiting for us to see that He is the only Hope we have in this world or the next. Patiently. Isn't He the one person that is truly AWESOME?
So as I try to get myself together and guide my emotions, it is good for me to remind myself that God gave me those emotions. And that whatever I'm feeling at any minute, He is still there. Even when I have those negative emotions of sadness or anger or envy. He is still there. I think instead of being afraid of what I might be feeling, I'm going to embrace it. But with that I also must be prepared to listen for the Still Small Voice that tells me how to respond to those emotions. Actions have consequences and only through the power of God can we behave in the ways that He shows us. Will we mess up? Sure. Does He forgive and give us another chance. Thankfully, yes. It is comforting to know that He is always there to welcome us back to Him with open arms. And right now, I really need to feel His arms around me. I need to hear Him whisper--"all will be well, I am in control."
I will end my ramblings with this quote:
Over the past few years many things have changed in my life. Not only mine but the lives of so many people that are special to me. Marriages have ended, children have moved, people have died and others have simply lost touch with one another. And we know that the natural progession of life leads to these changes. So, what DOES stay the same? We know the answer to that. God does. He never changes, He never waivers, He never leaves us. We may pull back or even walk away but He is always right there. Waiting. Waiting for us to see that He is the only Hope we have in this world or the next. Patiently. Isn't He the one person that is truly AWESOME?
So as I try to get myself together and guide my emotions, it is good for me to remind myself that God gave me those emotions. And that whatever I'm feeling at any minute, He is still there. Even when I have those negative emotions of sadness or anger or envy. He is still there. I think instead of being afraid of what I might be feeling, I'm going to embrace it. But with that I also must be prepared to listen for the Still Small Voice that tells me how to respond to those emotions. Actions have consequences and only through the power of God can we behave in the ways that He shows us. Will we mess up? Sure. Does He forgive and give us another chance. Thankfully, yes. It is comforting to know that He is always there to welcome us back to Him with open arms. And right now, I really need to feel His arms around me. I need to hear Him whisper--"all will be well, I am in control."
I will end my ramblings with this quote:
'When we worship the Lord, let’s remember that He is in control. Nothing alarms Him, or takes Him by surprise. Nothing is too big for Him to handle, or so small it escapes His attention. When the winds of my world begin to blow, He remains seated. When raging waves surround me, He governs their temper…I need not be moved … Because the Lord is seated and sovereign…He alone is sovereign." Ronald James
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Sometimes we are not to understand...
This has been a very sad week for so many people--some I know personally and some I only know through the news. Too many young children and teenagers leaving this world so suddenly and, as far as I can see, for no reason. Older people who have made their way on to Glory. Loved ones of my friends who are suffering pain and hurt. For some, all the family can do is wait...and trust God. Too many things that I just cannot comprehend; too many things I just don't understand; so many questions in hearts and minds of so many people.
But...here is the good news. I don't have to understand. You don't have to understand. Nobody has to understand. Because God knows. He has His reasons and while we may never know this side of Heaven, we can still believe. And trust.
So during those times when we aren't sure about what to do, we always know where we can go. To our Rock. To our Saviour. And how will He keep us? In perfect peace. Just trust and let God do the rest.
But...here is the good news. I don't have to understand. You don't have to understand. Nobody has to understand. Because God knows. He has His reasons and while we may never know this side of Heaven, we can still believe. And trust.
So during those times when we aren't sure about what to do, we always know where we can go. To our Rock. To our Saviour. And how will He keep us? In perfect peace. Just trust and let God do the rest.
"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Isaiah 26:3
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Mother, are you there?
For as far back as I can remember I have been afraid of the dark. Even now I don't like it. But I also remember that as long as I knew my mother was there, waiting for me, watching out for me that I could let the fear go. That's what mommas do for us on this earth. They love us unconditionally, teach us, guide us, and keep us safe. Momma has never been a big woman, but I saw her as one of the strongest women I've ever known and I knew I was safe in her care.
But in the past year, I've watched my momma slip away. She doesn't talk to me anymore. Every day I go by and carry on a conversation with myself and just pretend she is answering. This is a new kind of dark and it frightens me immensely.
I noticed several weeks ago that the sparkle was gone from Momma's eyes. She just wasn't as alert as she had been. So many days while I'm feeding her an afternoon snack, I lean over her, look her in the eyes and ask, "Momma, are you there?" But she doesn't answer. In my heart I have to believe that she still knows everything even if she can't communicate it. I know the day will come when I won't be able to go into her room to see her so I'm thankful that she is still here... at least physically.
I know many adult daughters and sons who have done or are doing exactly what I am doing now. And I think for the majority of us we do what we do because we believe that is what we should do....especially those who had good relationship with our parents growing up.
We know we are told in Ephesians 6:2 "Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise." So that pretty much explains why children become the caregivers of their parents---its just what we are supposed to do.
Even though she doesn't answer when I ask "Mother, are you there?" I feel peace in my heart because I know I'm with her whether she knows it or not.
But in the past year, I've watched my momma slip away. She doesn't talk to me anymore. Every day I go by and carry on a conversation with myself and just pretend she is answering. This is a new kind of dark and it frightens me immensely.
I noticed several weeks ago that the sparkle was gone from Momma's eyes. She just wasn't as alert as she had been. So many days while I'm feeding her an afternoon snack, I lean over her, look her in the eyes and ask, "Momma, are you there?" But she doesn't answer. In my heart I have to believe that she still knows everything even if she can't communicate it. I know the day will come when I won't be able to go into her room to see her so I'm thankful that she is still here... at least physically.
I know many adult daughters and sons who have done or are doing exactly what I am doing now. And I think for the majority of us we do what we do because we believe that is what we should do....especially those who had good relationship with our parents growing up.
We know we are told in Ephesians 6:2 "Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise." So that pretty much explains why children become the caregivers of their parents---its just what we are supposed to do.
Even though she doesn't answer when I ask "Mother, are you there?" I feel peace in my heart because I know I'm with her whether she knows it or not.
Proverbs 23
King James Version (KJV)
22...despise not thy mother when she is old.
25...thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.
25...thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Make the call
I had just finished my last lecture and returned to my office. Just as soon as I plopped down in my chair, the phone began to ring. I answered it thinking it was probably somebody wanting me to do something. But when I heard the voice on the other end of the line, a smile immediately lit up my face and my heart grew lighter. The caller was someone who has had a huge impact in my life over the past 20+ years. And the purpose of the call? "I was just thinking about you and thought I'd call to see how things are with you." That was it. Just one of those "how are you?" calls that had no significance in the big scheme of life. At least that is probably what you are thinking. But it was a big deal. Somebody that I care about took the time to let me know they cared about me too...and that was significant to me.
So afterwards I began to think...why don't I do that for others? Why don't I just randomly pick up the phone and call someone who is important to me just to say "hi"? Because I'm too busy? Well...probably not. More than likely its just because I don't take the time to do it. But if that phone call did so much for me I could probably do the same for somebody else. So, what about you? Is there someone who might have their spirits lifted just to hear your voice? Just to know that you care enough to take 5 minutes out of your day and give it to them? Pretty small thing? Maybe and maybe not. I'm about to make a call. How about you?
"...edify one another, even as also ye do" 1 Thessalonians 5:11
So afterwards I began to think...why don't I do that for others? Why don't I just randomly pick up the phone and call someone who is important to me just to say "hi"? Because I'm too busy? Well...probably not. More than likely its just because I don't take the time to do it. But if that phone call did so much for me I could probably do the same for somebody else. So, what about you? Is there someone who might have their spirits lifted just to hear your voice? Just to know that you care enough to take 5 minutes out of your day and give it to them? Pretty small thing? Maybe and maybe not. I'm about to make a call. How about you?
"...edify one another, even as also ye do" 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Monday, February 13, 2012
You are loved!
Oh well, it is Valentine's day again. The time to celebrate love. Hmmmm...but what if you are single? Maybe you are single by choice and maybe not but it is disheartening to see all these people celebrating their love for each other. And there you are. Alone. All alone. So sad. Until...
You realize that you are NOT all alone. You are loved with the greatest of all loves! In Jeremiah 31:3 God says "... I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." If you have ever heard a recording by Elisabeth Elliot, you have heard her say "You are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms." There it is again. That word-everlasting. An everlasting love. Everlasting. How awesome is that?!
What comfort, what peace, what hope we draw from this. Relationships end, marriages end, sometimes children desert their parents. But no matter what else happens in our lives, we know that God loves us. Forever. I count on that promise. I find joy in knowing that I am loved with an everlasting love. And so are YOU! He loves you with a perfect love that far exceeds anything we could imagine experiencing on this earth.
So, if you are feeling a little down, a little lonely as this Valentine's day comes around, remind yourself Who you belong to and how much He loves you. And that is better than anything else this world could possibly offer you!
You realize that you are NOT all alone. You are loved with the greatest of all loves! In Jeremiah 31:3 God says "... I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." If you have ever heard a recording by Elisabeth Elliot, you have heard her say "You are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms." There it is again. That word-everlasting. An everlasting love. Everlasting. How awesome is that?!
What comfort, what peace, what hope we draw from this. Relationships end, marriages end, sometimes children desert their parents. But no matter what else happens in our lives, we know that God loves us. Forever. I count on that promise. I find joy in knowing that I am loved with an everlasting love. And so are YOU! He loves you with a perfect love that far exceeds anything we could imagine experiencing on this earth.
So, if you are feeling a little down, a little lonely as this Valentine's day comes around, remind yourself Who you belong to and how much He loves you. And that is better than anything else this world could possibly offer you!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Life is Short
I was reading an article the other day on the the top 5 regrets of dying people. I was not surprised in the least to find that no one said they wish they had worked longer hours (they did say that they hadn't worked so hard), spent less time with family or made less money. But I was still a little surprised by a couple of the things that made the list. Number one on the list was "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." That one hit home with me. Why do we feel that our entire lives must be lived to meet someone else's expectations? First our parents, then maybe teachers or our spouse or children. Why not just do what we want to do? I know the reasons we give--"I have to make a living." "Nobody would understand." "I just don't think I can." But I think the real reason is that we are afraid. I know several things I wish I'd done already in my life and didn't--because I was afraid to take the risk. There are things now that I want to do--but I'm afraid to take the risk. What if nobody else approves? Does it really matter? If the life we want to live is not illegal or immoral, why don't we go for it?
The last thing on the list was "I wish that I had let myself be happier." I think the two go hand in hand. Women especially feel they are to be martyrs. You know, do everything for everybody regardless of what we want. Why is that? Just go and be and do. Life is short and we have no promise of tomorrow. Let's take a chance at being happy...what do you say???
The last thing on the list was "I wish that I had let myself be happier." I think the two go hand in hand. Women especially feel they are to be martyrs. You know, do everything for everybody regardless of what we want. Why is that? Just go and be and do. Life is short and we have no promise of tomorrow. Let's take a chance at being happy...what do you say???
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Marriage Issues
I'm so saddened by the fact that so many people that I know have hit a rough patch in their marriage. And, yes, I know that all marriages have ups and downs in them. It is the willingness to WORK together that determines how the issues will be resolved.
The number one reason couples go to counseling is lack of communication. Communicating involves more that stating facts or, as sometimes is the case, yelling them. To fully communicate with another person requires several things. The first is to pay attention. Often when one person is talking, the other is busy doing something else. Multi-tasking is not a part of communicating. The second thing is to listen. Hearing is not the same as listening. Listening involves your ears, brain, and heart. It means that you are not only grasping the words but also the meanings behind those words. Sometimes, it is more important to listen with the heart because it picks up on things that your brain may not. Couples must also strive to stay calm. If the discussion escalates to a shouting match, then the listening has stopped. If there is a time when the subject is just too hot to handle right then, take a break and agree to a time--after colling down--to restart the discussion. Probably one of the main aspects of communication is to stay in the moment. Don't bring up things from last week or last month or last year. Deal with the issue at hand.
This is a good start for couples when difficulties arise. However, each must realize that the partner may have needs that are not being met--not just physical needs but the need to be touched or praised or appreciated. Each person has his/her own temperament style and he/she can't dictate what that style is. So it is important to learn about your spouse and what feels like a reward for him/her. Life might be easier is marriage was always smooth but the reality is that without working to keep things together, it is very easy for a couple to fall apart.
Mark 10: 7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (KJV)
The number one reason couples go to counseling is lack of communication. Communicating involves more that stating facts or, as sometimes is the case, yelling them. To fully communicate with another person requires several things. The first is to pay attention. Often when one person is talking, the other is busy doing something else. Multi-tasking is not a part of communicating. The second thing is to listen. Hearing is not the same as listening. Listening involves your ears, brain, and heart. It means that you are not only grasping the words but also the meanings behind those words. Sometimes, it is more important to listen with the heart because it picks up on things that your brain may not. Couples must also strive to stay calm. If the discussion escalates to a shouting match, then the listening has stopped. If there is a time when the subject is just too hot to handle right then, take a break and agree to a time--after colling down--to restart the discussion. Probably one of the main aspects of communication is to stay in the moment. Don't bring up things from last week or last month or last year. Deal with the issue at hand.
This is a good start for couples when difficulties arise. However, each must realize that the partner may have needs that are not being met--not just physical needs but the need to be touched or praised or appreciated. Each person has his/her own temperament style and he/she can't dictate what that style is. So it is important to learn about your spouse and what feels like a reward for him/her. Life might be easier is marriage was always smooth but the reality is that without working to keep things together, it is very easy for a couple to fall apart.
Mark 10: 7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (KJV)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Welcome
This is a blog that discusses marriage, parenting and life in general from a Christian view. Too much of what we read in the media and study in classes looks at life simply from the secular view. I think we need to get back to some basics about the important things in life. If we can rebuild the family then we can begin to see out nation rebuild also. I hope you will enjoy the writings to come and gain some insight to yourself. :)
“The family is the corner stone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together, all the rest — schools, playgrounds, and public assitance, and private concern — will never be enough.”-Lyndon Baines Johnson
God instituted the family from the beginning of time. Even though this view is not popular today, there is a God-given order for life. God, family, church--that is the way things were established. If we put God first in our lives then the family and the church will both be stronger. We NEED strong families today. We need husbands and wives who stay the course even when the waters are rough. Life is never easy for anybody. Our focus determines how much we enjoy the journey.
“The family is the corner stone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together, all the rest — schools, playgrounds, and public assitance, and private concern — will never be enough.”-Lyndon Baines Johnson
God instituted the family from the beginning of time. Even though this view is not popular today, there is a God-given order for life. God, family, church--that is the way things were established. If we put God first in our lives then the family and the church will both be stronger. We NEED strong families today. We need husbands and wives who stay the course even when the waters are rough. Life is never easy for anybody. Our focus determines how much we enjoy the journey.
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