So here is where I am today. Y'all know I'm straight with you. So what you get is what it is.
I thought I had done all my midlife "crisising" at 30 and 35---which is not even considered midlife. (That is now 45-65----in case you were wondering.) Anyway, those birthdays, for some inexplicable reason rocked me hard. 40 was not bad. 50 was great. So why, now, halfway through my 56th year of life am I struggling? I kept thinking it was just the depression and maybe it was time to change my meds but as I was walking down the hall at work, it hit me. Oh my word! I must be having a midlife crisis! So I got to thinking about what I know about midlife from the psychological, social and emotional points of view. Then I began to look in my Bible to see what God's word had to say about it. So here are some thoughts I've had....
Ecclesiates 3:1 says "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" I kind of like talking about seasons in life. We all know we go through some distinct periods like childhood, teen age years, all the way to late adulthood. But we all also go through seasons--sometimes at different rates and sometimes simultaneously such as student, spouse, parent of young child, parent of teenager, parent to our parents etc. So many roles--wife, mother, grandmother etc. Most of the time we know right where we are and what our responsibilities are. But other times we are just at a loss. I think midlife may be one of those times. What exactly am I doing? Is my career as important as it once was? Is it still fulfilling? And what about my role as parent? Am I still necessary? What is my role as a grandmother? So in this season, why do I feel a little loss?
I looked at the "signs" of a midlife "You ask yourself some deep, probing questions. You feel as if you're slowly losing your mind. You feel like life is one big pile of blah. You feel as if your best years are behind you." And so on and so forth. (Woman's Day, April 14, 2017) And yes, all of these things apply to me. So there we are. Or rather, here I am.
I do know that men and women deal with midlife differently and one thing women often focus on is our looks. Society says youth is beautiful. Wrinkles, sagging skin and crows feet are not. But God tells us this will happen. "For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:" 1Peter 1:24 So we know this is going to happen but even then, it is hard. Yet, when we think of the most beautiful mature women we know, we seldom can tell you about wrinkles or the circles under their eyes. Their beauty comes from inside. It is made up of their love for God, for family and if we are really lucky, for us. Not from Botox or some magic potion. So why is this so hard for us to accept for ourselves? I even venture to guess that if you asked those very women if they thought they were beautiful they may say "I once was." But they don't see it themselves. So as I look at every line and wrinkle and dark spot, I have to remember that the "flower...falleth away." It will be ok. I will just slather on my moisturizing lotions and put on my makeup. And then not look in the mirror again. ha ha
One morning I was viewing a video on the 7 things that are done by effective people. I can do some of those things but a couple of them discussed these questions. If you were able to stand over yourself at your funeral, what would YOU say about you? Would you be pleased with the life you lived, with what you did for others, for the work of God? And what do you say your priorities are and how does that to compare to how you spend your time? Which made me think of the Dr. Laura quote "What do you want to do between now and dead?" But that is part of my problem. There is SO much I want to do between now and dead. So many other things I want to try. Other ways I want to serve.
So pray with me as I work through the transitions that many of you have navigated already and the rest will have to look forward to facing. And pray for those who have to deal with me on a day to day basis that we can each understand what the other is facing. I really can't imagine going through this passage without my family and my friends. And I will keep camping in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
