Time WON'T Slow Down

James 4:14

“... For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

{This blog, like every one I write, is a reminder to myself as much as hopefully a message someone else needs to hear. :) }

I see so many posts, especially from young mothers, with the request “time please slow down”.  And I understand what they are wanting—their “babies” are not helpless babies any more.  They are growing into toddlers, preteens, teens, young adults.  I REALLY do understand.  As I write this we are only weeks away from my two turning 32 and 33.  That is the point of this blog.

Time is not going to slow down.  It is going to keep moving at the same rate of 24 hours a day, 12 months a year.  The newborn you hold today will be showing great signs of independence one year from now.  That is why it is so important to enjoy, to experience, to really live each day you have with your children.  If you have to choose between sweeping under your bed and rocking, playing, or reading with your child, leave the dust bunnies to reproduce.  You can clean them out while they are in college. (And since I am one I can say this—if your mother in law or anyone else is concerned with the dust under your bed, they can come clean it while you spend time with your child!!)

However,  I do often find it contradictory that while parents keep wanting time to slow down, they do everything they can to speed up the lives of their children.  Quite often, I-phones, I-pads, laptops are owned by children before they are 2.  They are put in formal, all day learning institutions (not just day care--- school) by 3 or 4 years of age.  By 5, children are expected to behave as adults, to think as adults, to be able to comprehend as adults.  Little girls---6,7, and 8 years old---are wearing the same clothes as the teenage girls.  Teenage girls at 15 dress and try to look like they are 25.  We push our high school students to take all the courses they can, including college courses, so that they are able to graduate from college by 19 or 20.  Then we send them into the world before they are socially or emotionally ready to take on the role of adulthood.  What is the rush?  Is this perhaps why time seems to fly by?

I talked to a young father who was going to be coaching t-ball this summer about what was going to be his goal for the children. And he said, “I want them to have fun.  I don’t care if they sit and play in the grass.”  I hugged him and told him I totally agreed (I already knew he was a good guy!!).  He was right.  That is all 3-4 year olds should be worried about while playing.  Have fun and don’t get hurt or hurt somebody else.  99.9% of these kids won’t even play college ball much less make this their professions.  And that is true for all the extra curricular activities that children do.  They are probably not going to be professional singers, dancers, MMA fighters, cheerleaders or any other type of athlete.  But one day, they are going to be grown.  They are going to be out of your house.  They will grow up to be doctors, nurses, teachers, lawyers, business people, garbage men and police officers. 

So when your t-baller would rather go see the grandparents or go potty than play an inning, it will be ok.  When they are not interested in chasing after the ball, that is ok too.  Don’t jerk them into the dugout like they are old enough to understand.  When your 7-year-old decides 4 years of dance is enough for them, let them move on to something else.  And, for goodness sake, don’t so overschedule your kids so they don’t have time to be kids!  If you don’t want time to pass by so quickly, then stop, sit down, play, talk, spend time with your child.  Listen to music, talk to them about God, take them to visit their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Get the idea?  You can’t slow down the movement of the clock but you can make memories now that you and your children will have in years to come.  As the parent of adult children some of the best times for me are when they say, “remember when we….?”  Or “I heard a song today and it made me think of the time we….”  Memories---make them, savor them, save them up.  One day you will be glad, so very glad, that you did.  And if time is going too quickly for you, then remember the song lyrics sung by Billy Dean that say…

“So let them be little, cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love, every day.
Let em cry, let em giggle, let them sleep in the middle.
Oh, just let them be little”.

One of my favorite poems is below.  I remember reading it many years ago.  If you notice the dates of the author’s life you will see this is not a new phenomenon.

MAKING A MAN

Nixon Waterhouse (1859-1944)

Hurry the baby as fast as you can,
Hurry him, worry him, make him a man.
Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants,
Feed him on brain foods and make him advance.
Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk,
Into a grammar school; cram him with talk.
Fill his poor head full of figures and facts,
Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks.
Once boys grew up at a rational rate,
Now we develop a man while you wait,
Rush him through college, compel him to grab,
Of every known subject a dip and a dab.
Get him in business and after the cash
All by the time he can grow a mustache.
Let him forget he was ever a boy,
Make gold his god and its jungle his joy,
Keep him a-hustling and clear out of breath,
Until he wins---nervous prostration and death.

Don’t rush those babies.  YOU slow down and it will seem that time will too.  Love them now, love them well.  Thirty years from now you will be glad you did! 

Mountain Top vs the Valley

I think it is time for us to rethink the idea of whether we would rather be on the mountain top or in the valley.  The more I study on this, the more I think we may have it backwards.  Walk through this with me and see what you think.

One of my favorite songs is God on the Mountain.  And in this song it says "The God on the mountain is the God in the valley... The God of the good times is still God in the bad times."  I believe that God is the same no matter where we are but here is my question--Why do we think the mountain top is the best place to be?  

Here is a picture of a mountain top.  Look at it.  Nothing is alive... nothing is growing... it is a barren, rocky place.  Why would you want to be there?

I understand that we often equate being on the mountain top with being closer to God or having overcome some trial.  That somehow we have made the climb with God's help and now we are conquerors.  And, yes, the view from the top is beautiful.  But is that all you want?  Is your only goal to reach the top and look at the view from that point on?  Not me.

Now, let's look at this valley.  See the lush green growth?  See the life sustaining water flowing through it?  It has to be in the valley where growing occurs.  So, is that why we don't like the valleys?  Because we know so much of our growth comes through trials and temptations?  Through times that we would rather not have to face?  

But, don't we want to grow?  Don't we want to learn more about God, to grow closer to Him, to recognize our need for Him everyday?  Do I mean that I look forward to those hard times in life?  Absolutely not!  Just like most people, I would not mind floating through life with never a worry or trial or problem.  But, I DO want to grow.  I want to see God working IN me and THROUGH me.  I want to overcome all of these horrible things in my human nature.  I want to grow more Christlike day by day and that is not an easy path.

I know many times we read that it is on the mountain top where we meet with God.   But, really, when do call on God more?  In times of exhilaration, in those all-is-right-in-my-world moments?  If we are honest, we know the answer is no.  We call on God, we beg for His help, His guidance, we ask Him to carry us when we are in the midst of the valley.  We seek Him more often when going through a trial than we do in the good times.  When He is shaping us, working His will in us down in that valley, it is all to work for His good, to His glory but to our benefit.  

I think, then, that even though I love those moments of exhilaration, that I will not fret over my time in the valley.  I will look at it as God taking time to teach me what I need to know.  I will dig my feet into that rich soil and take advantage of the stream nearby.  I will allow myself to be more rooted in Him and to grow--to become what God wants me to become.  I want to be able to feel the joy that comes with blooming through God's grace and mercy.  I need the growth and the pruning to fulfill the purpose God has for me.  I NEED the valley!

May God bless you in a special way today!!

The Quote on the Wall

As I was riding with a friend through Jackson one day, I saw a quote painted on the side of a building.  And while I was not seeking to find some inspiration or motivation out the window, this just happened to catch my eye.  I tend to believe that sometimes we see things we've missed before because it wouldn't have meant the same thing at another period of life.

Now, blues fan or not, I would expect that most people would recognize the name BB King.  And even though I don't look to him for guidance, he is the author of this quotes that caught my eye.  He said, one month before his 87th birthday, "There are so many sounds I still want to make, so many things I haven't yet done."  Of course he is talking about his musical career.  And while I am not a musician and don't make "sounds" for generations of people to listen to, this quote did resonate with me.  Because there really are so many things I want to do before my life is over.  When people are discussing retirement and ask me what I think I want to do when I get to retire, they better have a long time for me to give them that answer.  ha ha

I don't think many people ever have the chance to truly live all their biggest dreams or to check everything off their bucket list.  I think that list is kind of like goals we set for ourselves---when we get closer to that goal, we either replace it with a new one or make the original goal a little harder.  As we have the opportunity to do some of those bucket list items, we simply add a new thing at the bottom!

So I decided maybe I should take some time to reflect on some of those "many things I haven't done yet."  I would like to say that I could put them in order from what I most want to do to what I will do if there is time left.  But I can't.  Because it seems like from day to day, the priorities change.

However, while I am going over this list in my mind, I happened to think--"that is all fine but have you thought about what God might have for you to do?  Do you think maybe He has a bucket list for you to complete?"  I do believe God has a plan and I do believe He will reveal it in His time.

Psalms 32:8 says "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye."  He will guide us.  He will guide ME.  Many of the things that I think I'd like do would be a type of ministry--my ultimate being able to travel with a dear friend and the two of us speak at women's conferences.  But whatever it is that God has in store, I want to be ready and willing to do.

Each day I must pray that the many things I haven't done yet that I wish to do will be in God's will and part of His plan for my life.  But if not, I know wherever He leads will be just the right place for me!

Psalms 37:23 - "The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way."  This should truly be our bucket list--to have our steps arranged by the Lord and to be delighted in whatever way He sends us!