" My dear father; my dear friend; the best and wisest man I ever knew, who taught me many lessons and showed me many things as we went together along the country by-ways."--Sarah Orne Jewett
The tears have been just below the surface all day today. Really for the past week or so I've been very teary-eyed--and sometimes they did overflow. Today my daddy would have turned 78. And even though he has been gone from this earth since 2005, I still miss him EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Many are the days when I talk out loud to him--especially in those times of decision making. I am always so afraid of making the wrong choice for myself. (Yes, I know I don't have any trouble telling others what they should do. ha) My Daddy always had a way of looking at things from a different perspective. There were many times in my life when he and I did not see eye to eye on things. And he always held me accountable for my own actions. In hindsight I know that he was right the majority of the time but I am just as strong-willed as he was so I had to hold my ground. Don't get me wrong--I never talked back to my Daddy. No, I enjoyed eating with a full set of teeth too much for that. But, as I'm sure every teenager has done (including my own), I walked away mumbling under my breath what I'd like to say. :)
So much of who I am today is because of my Daddy. I was always a Daddy's girl. There was a period of time before I was school age when he worked the 3-11 shift and Momma worked 7-3. That meant that he and I spent lots of time together. I "helped" him build fences and whatever else he had to do. As I got older I learned how to work in the garden (never really liked it), how to herd the cows (never stopped being afraid of them) and how to drive the tractor (liked that pretty good because I got to drive during hay hauling time!) Daddy coached little league baseball for a long time but as I moved into pre-teen and teenage years, he coached a semi-pro team. That was older guys!! Those who know me well know there is no place I'd rather be than around a bunch of fellas. So to get to stay in the dugout, I had to learn to keep the scorebook--which later led to a summer job when I was first married and living in Cleveland. Many times now there are things I recall that I learned from hanging out with him.
As the daughter--and the baby at that--I'm sure I didn't have the same experiences as my older brother but that is his story to tell, not mine. ;)
Daddy didn't go to college but he was a very well read man. He knew something about pretty much everything. The bookshelf at my childhood home still held his books even after he had been gone a long time. He would sometimes recommend things to me and one time (and I was adult at this time) he made me read The King of Torts even though he knew I was not a huge Grisham fan. He said there were things in that book that I needed to know. So, you guessed it, I read it! I think the love for reading and learning that I have today stems from his love of the same. We never discussed IF I was going to college, we only discussed WHERE I was going. He did make one mistake with all of that though--he told me he'd pay for my education as long I wanted to go if I maintained the grades. I don't think he knew how long that would be! lol
So today, even while my eyes are tear-filled, I remember all the good things about my Daddy. He was not perfect by any means but the positives I took from him far outweigh the negatives. I like to think he'd be proud of how I turned out and how my2 boys have turned out as well. (I know he would have been traveling with us every Friday to watch one of them coach had he still been alive.) So--happy birthday, Daddy. I hope you and Momma are walking on the golden streets hand in hand today. And as you are watching over your little girl, never for a moment think that I don't appreciate all the things you brought to my life.
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me".
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